SEXpert adVICE ~ so you're dating a porn star?

Your blind date’s got a familiar face, but you can’t finger out your former acquaintanceship. Was it a chance bench-spotting at 24 Hour Fitness? Did you cross carts at Ralph’s deli counter? Perhaps you cruised his airbrushed profile on gay.com one lonely, vodka-filled night? You know you know him, but you don’t know how… until you catch a glance of his perfectly perched posterior. Your beau-to-be is none other that the star of ‘Acres of Ass 3’!

You, my friend, are dating a porn star! It’s a delightfully dirty job, but someone’s got to give those home-video hunks a Happily-Ever-After… and here’s how!

Keep Your Hole Closed!
(And I’m not talking about that hole... I'm talking about your mouth)! There’s no need to inform Aunt Ida of your man’s Tomkat-made-infamous moniker. Let those not in-the-homo-know get to know him for him… and not his big screen “assets”.

Easy as 1-2-3!
Get tested. Regardless of his resume, it’s a must for every man. Not only will it put your mind at easy, but it’ll open the door for must-discuss topics like fidelity, sexual history, and, most importantly, bottom-ability.

Separate Business & Pleasure!
He doesn’t watch you file expense reports in your cubicle, so don’t visit him on the set of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream’. Your man and his sausage are big enough to bring home the bacon alone!

Co-Author a Back-Story!
It’s tasteless and tacky, but, someday, some drunk bar bitch will stumble up and slur “Aren’t you that power bottom from ‘Poke-My-Hontas’?” Don’t give him the photo op. Instead, have a bogus back-story to shut-down and shut-up that stupid stranger.

Enjoy the Ride!
If your boy-toy was a tax accountant, you’d cash in on his expertise come April 15th. Well, your hunk-o-man earns his (low-carb) dough by flaunting his buffed-out bod. So lay back, let him do what he does best, and enjoy the ride… figuratively and literally.

Whether Romeo, Prince Charming, or an armor-clad knight is the man of your dreams, give a porn star your heart, and your fantasies will forever be fulfilled. (Wardrobe included!)

HoMo HoW 2 ~ how 2 create ur very own porn name!
First Name = Your childhood pet
Last Name = The last street you lived on
(I’m Butch Captains! How freakin’ hot is that?!)