aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ toll-free LOL's!

I have a new favorite game in the world. And it involves telemarketers!

Now, although we are on the Do Not Call list and our number is unlisted, we still get "Do You Want to Subscribe to my Bridal Magazine?" or "This is your Lucky Chance to Join our Christian Speed Dating Group!" calls. And somehow, although each caller is named Jimmy-Joe or Mary-Ann, they seem to have an ever-so slight Indian accent. (Outsourced, say what?! But I digress...)

So, this morning, when Jim-Bob woke me at 8:41 AM to tell me about "The Joys of Owning your own Retirement Timeshare in Key West", I about lost it. For a moment, I thought about apathetically hanging up or wildly yelling. But then my hysterically sadistic (in equal measures) genius took hold, and I said...

MiCHaeL aNTHoNY: "Are you horny, Jim-Bob?"
Jim-Bob: "Excuse me, kind Sir?"
MiCHaeL aNTHoNY: "Jim-Bob... Do I make your horny? Do I make your one eyed-monster rise and do sit-ups?"
Jim-Bob: "I'm sorry, Mr. Anteehoney. Hor...nay?"

Of course Jim-Bob is confused, I don't think that this is the kind of SoCali slang that they are taught in 3rd-world-to-English translation class.

So I continue my attempts at AT&T copulation, referencing a plethora of things like his "man sack", his "brown hole" and all other things porn-y; and within minutes, in Jim-Bob's background, I can hear the entire call center rolling with laughter. But you have to hand(job) it to Jim-Bob. He kept on hawking that timeshare with all the gusto of an American used car salesman.

Thanks for the AM happy ending Jim-Bob. Same time tomorrow? You got my number!