So, as you should (but probably don't) know, I am a regular contributor to various Life & Style magazines throughout SoCal. (I mean, duh! Look how lively and stylish my existence is! How could editors not be asking me to put my pen where my fabulousness is!)
So when Frontiers (the gay version of LA Weekly) asked me to do a spread on West Hollywood pet ownership, I thought nothing of it. A few hundred bucks to lie down with the dogs. Believe me, I've done a lot worse for a lot less.
With the article written and sent to the proverbial presses, I thought nothing of it... Until today, as I'm walking by a newsstand and my little eye espies the story's leading picture. [See said picture above!]
Granted, Maggie looks like a SnowWhite SuperModel. Like LiLo and BritSpear, the camera loves her and cannot pick up on the crazy that lies beneath. Now (if you dare!!), let your eyes travel to the left. What is that monstrosity staring back at Maggie?! The bad lighting, the huge nose, the double chin, the what-appears-to-be cranial balding!? (Shudder! Shudder!! Ewww!!!)
I'd go on with my eruption of self-hate, but you must excuse me now... It is time for me to go ring my bell tower and tend to my malformed back-hump!
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