According to the Star...
Devout Scientologist Tom Cruise plans to build a $10 million bunker under his Telluride, Colorado mansion… Equipped with a high tech air-purifying system, “it’s a self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survive for years.” Apparently, Scientologists believe that the evil deposed galactic ruler Xenu is set to attack Earth, and they’ll need a safe place to survive.
For all of you non-Scientologists in the do-not-know… 75 million years ago there was an evil galactic overlord named Xenu who ruled over 76 planets including earth (then called Teegeeack). Due to overpopulation, Xenu decided to gather up the 13.5 trillion people on these planets and send them into volcanoes on earth off the Canary and Hawaiian Islands. He then dropped H-bombs and killed the people. Xenu trapped the souls of these people in boxes and implanted them with a false reality. The confused souls with these false realities attached themselves in clusters to the last remaining people on Earth. Today we all hold about 2,000 alien souls that can only be released by a Scientologist with auditing sessions.
These people are allowed to reproduce, and gays can’t get married?! Xenu, please come and put us out of our misery!
WeLCuM 2...
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