(ouCH!)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ BritBrit inspires

4:55 AM: My alarm clock jars me to conciousness.

4:56 AM: I say "F BootCamp! F-U in the tight bubble butt!! I'm going back to bed!!!"

4:58 AM: Unconciousness re-consumes me, and I drift back to DreamLand. There, visions of backfat dance through my head. I see myself sporting a matted blonde extensioned-mess of a wig, dancing before millions of MTV viewers. I envision my flab-u-lous self in a sequenced bra and pantie set, my once-taught gut flapping with each disjointed pop-and-lock. I smell myself reeking of vodka and disappointment in immeasurably equal measures; I see myself as Britney Spears.

5:27 AM: I am sprinting on the treadmill at Barry's BootCamp. Class doesn't begin for another 33 minutes, but I don't care.

I'm afraid. Very afraid.