WeLCuM 2...

WeLCuM 2...
The (In)Complete Gay Man's Guide on How 2 Succeed in West Hollywood Without Really Trying!
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

(ouCH)MuSiNG MuSiNG ~ hot wheels!

Although my Dad is a few years post-50, he's just now hitting his midlife crisis. The proof? Insert the large picture of his brand new 2007 red convertible Mustang here!

Now granted, my Pops has worked his ass off, providing for everything and anything that his 3 children have ever wanted or needed: countless dinners at the Cheesecake Factory, my Louis Vuitton travel clutch, True Religion jeans, H&M shopping sprees... You know, the important stuff!

But GoshDarnJesus-DamnIt! I'm a spoiled little bitch, and I want a convertible! I want a convertible right now, Daddy! I'm sick and tired of riding my Schwinn around West Hollywood. People are beginning to talk. I'm becoming a two-wheeling social leper of homosexual proportions. And despite the fact that my ass and calves look better than ever, I want a red and shiny, topless treat. (And no, my shirtless and sunburned boyfriend does not count!)

And I'm willing to make concessions, too. Hell, Daddy, I'll even settle for a 2006! No one needs to know!

On a super bitter side note, notice how there are 3 other (almost) brand new vehicles in the driveway, as well. I guess I really am the redheaded stepchild...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

My violin weeps for you !!

Anonymous said...

How's the Bike, Mike?! :-)

Anonymous said...

mike!!! ur absolutely horrible! stop being a spoiled little ass. and i pay for everything on my own.

U are the kid who got to go to a private college across the country! i went to community college and still live at home. u OWE him big time. u should start paying HIM back so he can make payments on the mustang.

ps- jim and i both tried convincing dad to give us the mustang already... not working. he has it for life.