aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ drop dead gorgeous!

She's sexy. She's hot. She's everything we're not!

Newly crowned Miss Puerto Rico Ingrid Marie Rivera insisted in an exclusive interview Wednesday that she wasn’t just imagining the redness, itching and swelling she says she experienced during last week’s pageant in San Juan... Miss Puerto Rico insists that her outfit and makeup were poisoned.

Well, obviously whoever did the dastardly deed was not a homo! 'Cuz we all know that, if you really wanna f#ck with a beauty queen, you...

• Replace her prozac with Tylenol PM
• Switch out her Equal with raw (and jam-carb-packed) sugar
• Ask her where she found her "adorable little last season Jimmy Choo's"
• Consistently refer to her as that "really pretty-in-the-face plus-sized contestant"
• F#ck her super-model boyfriend in a bathroom stall during intermission

Thank you, DeNiSe RiCHaRDS. Your Drop Dead Gorgeous self taught us oh-so well!