How to avoid heated battles with your significant other when planning a housewarming.
When it comes to matters of the home, my boyfriend and I could not be more Osmond-esque; he’s a little bit Crate and Barrel, and I’m a little bit 99 Cent Store. He enjoys fine linens and even finer wines, while I’m sufficed with “borrowed” Holiday Inn towels and bottles of $2 Buck Chuck. Plainly put, he’s a splurger who enjoys life’s little luxuries, and I’m a saver who is perpetually prepping for a rainy day.
However, after an arduous eight-month condo remodel, we decided to quell our rivaling spending habits and jointly plan a full-fledged housewarming fiesta. Now, for us, you must understand that “joint-planning” was a new frontier in our three-year relationship.
You see, my idea of a good party is a BYOB-bash that ends in a police citation and possible mention on TMZ.com. Cost to the host? Approximately 9 dollars, max. For my better-half, however, a suitable festivity requires (at the very least) honey-baked ham platters, high-end liquors, and a small fleet of gay-for-pay bartenders. Cost to the host? One overtime-laden paycheck, minimum.
For that reason, we have always divvied up our party-planning responsibilities in their entirety. For example, I’d plan 100% of our non-denominational Christmas-Hanukkah-Quanza-Solstice holiday party, while he’d plan every aspect of our “Project Runway” finale extravaganza. Having each significant other oversee every other home event was our solution for party-hosting harmony… and the key to stay off our therapist’s couple’s couch.
But after enduring the hellish doldrums of condo renovation side-by-side, night-after-night, for 244 days, 17 hours, and 52 minutes (but who’s counting, right?), we were motivated to re-warm our abode… jointly. And 5 screaming matches, 4 silent treatments, 3 nasty text messages, 2 near break-ups, and 1 month later, our abode was well-warmed with friends, family, and a slew of gay-famous C-list celebs.
Joint party-planning with my money-is-no-object mate taught me a lot; but more importantly, it taught me what not to do. So, if you’re about to embark on a joint-planning project with your significant other, heed these tried-and-true party to-do’s. Not only will they save you some money, but they may even save your marriage!
Have a Mind Meld
Lawyers won’t enter a contract without a clear meeting of the minds, and there’s no reason for you and your beau to party-plan any differently. Early on, sit down for an overall discussion, and decide on the tone of your party. Are you having a backyard BBQ or a black-tie bash? Will this be an intimate event with close personal friends or the social event of the season, with the entire Who’s-Who-Are-You-Of-Hollywood on the guest list? A general outline of the evening’s overall feel will ensure that you both begin your preparation on the same party-page.
Put a Price on It
Party-planning can cost a pretty penny, so give yourselves a spending limit. It will force you to get creative and also limit splurges on unnecessary items. As I forcefully had to convince my man: one can serve bubbly in a plastic cup as easily as in a champagne flute. Decide on a budget for your bash, and hold each other accountable for all party-purchases.
Jumble the Guest List
Nothing say’s “great party!” than an eclectic guest list, so think across-the-board when e-mailing your E-vite’s; an exclusive gaggle of gay party boys can get really lame really fast. From work to church to the gym to your volunteer projects to family to neighbors to old college buddies to ex’s, their ex-es, their ex’s ex-es and even some heterosexuals, be sure to pack your place with a mix-mash of superb and diverse SoCal-ites.
Enhance the Ambiance
Music, scented candles, lighting and decorations; these are the extraneous touches the turn an average outing into a winning get-together. With your partner in full agreement, it’s important to decide on your festivity’s vibe. Are you having a kitschy costume party or a sensationally swank affair? Will you be breaking out the limbo stick or commissioning ice sculptures in your image? An event’s ambiance is fair game; the only rule is that you jointly and whole-heartedly follow through in its execution.
Wine & Dine
Face it; nothing breaks the party-ice better than a little liquid courage. So be sure to keep your bar fully stocked. It’ll grease your guests’ internal wheels, and keep the conversation flowing. Remember, alcohol doesn’t go bad, so it’s better to overstock rather than under-buy.
Heed the Little Things
Straws, napkins, and paper towels; oh my! It’s the smallest supplies that are forgotten until they are needed most. Spend an hour walking through your party space and trouble shooting; worse-case-scenario, do we have everything we need? And no matter how hard you try, you’ll never remember everything; so, plan out a route for a mid-party run. In short, how close is the nearest 7-11?
Help Wanted
No one wants to waste away their own party serving drinks and cleaning up spills; therefore, seriously consider hiring a helping hand. A bartender or cocktail server usually goes for about $200 a night, plus a generous tip. And a little Abbey-esque eye-candy never hurt any party-goer.
Make a Main Attraction
Relying on party-guests to make their own fun can lead to a celebratory-standstill. Instead, plan a big event that gets everyone involved. Whether it’s a white elephant gift giving or a formal wine tasting, a drag show or a stand-up comedian, a main event anchors the evening and gives the fashionably-later’s a reason to arrive on time.
Compromise Continually
You say potato chips, and he says potato salad. But don’t let the little disagreements disintegrate into an all-out war-of-the-roses. Remember, join-party planning is supposed to be (dare I say it?) fun! Take your mate’s suggestions to heart but do not take them personally; after all, once in a blue moon, he may just be (dare I say it?) right!
Have fun, stay sane and, most importantly, party hearty... hand-in hand with your man!
No comments:
Post a Comment