So, I finally broke down and got my ($27) Cali driver's licence. Aside from the (I'm not joking, almost seriously impossible!) written test, I passed. (Please! Who cares how many live animals you can carry in the back of a tractor-trailer! I try to avoid association with anyone in ownership of a trailer-esque vehicle. But I digress...)
The real drama came as I look my homo-dreaded far-too-close from-the-neck-up in-fluorescent-lighting licence photo. I posed, cheek bones sucked in, invoking a sort of Kate-Moss-after-a-coke-binge look. And then, without even a 1-2-3, the photo was flashed by an obese woman who can only be described as your ever-stereotypical angry black (PC-ly: African-American) DMV employee (minimum-wage-ly: indentured servant).
MiCHaeL: Ew! I know that was a bad photo. Can I take another?
Mad Black Woman: Honey, this ain't a fashion show. Next!
The MBW takes a look at my digitized photo in the computer and pauses.
MBW: [to self, under her breath] Goddamn! [back to me] Let's try another one, huh?
Damn you, covergirl Kate Moss! Damn you and the diuretic-inducing enema that you rode in on!
WeLCuM 2...
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