(uN)aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ help not wanted?

This e-mail went out to our entire company via the HR Department. Any thoughts on what this might mean?

Subject ~ An Important Message: A reminder regarding the Company severance policy.
Importance ~ High!
E-mail ~ As you know, the Company recently made an important announcement about its decision to begin a review of strategic alternatives, including a possible sale of the Company. We intend to continue to operate the Company in the ordinary course during this process and we have no intention of severing any employees in connection with the review of strategic alternatives. However, in announcing this process, we have received some questions from employees about our existing severance policy and about whether it remains in effect in the event of a sale of the Company. As you may know, our Employee Handbook on page 54 sets forth our severance policy which, subject to certain conditions, provides that all full time regular U.S. employees with at least one year of service would be entitled to two weeks severance pay for each year of service with a maximum amount of 52 weeks. If you have any questions, you may of course contact your respective Human Resources Director.

I have since contacted my Human Resources Director. I have since contacted my Human Resources Director three times. Said Human Resources Director has yet to get back to the soon-to-be-unemployed me.

I guess MiCHaeL aNTHoNY is gonna be flipping through the Want Ads soon!