Our company has an IntraNet, and on that IntraNet is a company advice column. Today's queer-y really stirred something deep inside me. And that something was a lil' bit of low-carb anti-fatty vomit...
Size Does Matter
Dear Gabby, Do you know of any reason why there are not choices in the 2XL, 3XL or 4XL variety in the TVGuide store? In our office, we are not allowed to wear any T-shirts unless they have the TVGuide logo on them. We do not all live in Smallywood and are not all size 4's. (No offense to those who are.) TVGuide employees come in ALL shapes and sizes and would love to wear TVGuide with pride into our communities but can't because TVGuide doesn't recognize the diversity in our sizes. Sales and Marketing often (not often enough) give away T-shirts, and those of us who are larger end up getting hats or frisbies. How many hats or frisbies can one person use? Signed, Livin' Large
Gabby, you take a seat in that cubicle chair of yours and let me homo-handle this one...
Ur 2 Fatty 4 Ur Shirt
Dear Livin' Large, Maybe the reason HR is giving you a frisbee is to inspire you to get your ass off the couch and out and about. Let me guess... You're big boned or have a pituitary gland problem, right? Um, there is no reason anyone should be a 2-4XL. Look at me! I'm a half-Polish, half-Italian homo with a binge eating disorder and a penchant for double-stuffed pizzas; I have a size 29 waist! There is no reason for your over-weight babblings of fatty-fat proportions. Get out of the McDonald's drive-thru and get yourself in a medium stretch cotton T-shirt before your arteries revolt and your heart beats its last beat! Man-orexically yours, MiCHaeL aNTHoNY PS: Smallywood? You're an obese idiot!
WeLCuM 2...
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