aMuSiNG MuSiNG ~ table for 1, please!

It's a fact of life; the grass always seems a bit greener on the other side. Us coupled queers sometimes look at the singles and wonder What If...? And the singular homosexuals often look at us and think I want that! But whatever side of the dating fence you're on, there are some inner-yearnings that should be kept to one's self. Case in CraigsList point...

CraigsList ~ M4M
Missed Connections ~ San Fernando Valley
Title: "Mr. Lonely wants love!"
Ad: "I want a boyfriend. A serious, honest to goodness boyfriend with whom I can do relationship type things. Things like going to the movies on a whim or go to McDonald's just cuz. Calling him in the middle of the day to see how things are. Cuddling. And "sex" of course, when we are both "ready". Future Boyfriend where are you?"

Want to get a boyfriend, Mr. Lonely?

1. Stop calling yourself Mr. Lonely. It reeks of self pity... And not in the sexy self-deprecating way.
2. Log off of CraigsList list.
3. Move out of LA.
4. Lose some weight. (It's obvious that you are obese, as only fatties got to McDonald's "just cuz".)
5. Lose the finger quotes on "ready" and "sex". Uh, what are you? A lesbian? You're a homo; you're born ready for sex! So lay down, "honest to goodness" shut up and bite the pillow.

Mr. Future Boyfriend is a mere donkey-punch away Mr. Lonely. Trust, MiCHaeL aNTHoNY!