Some F-er stole my bike!!?!! Double locked to a perfectly secure made-for-bike-parking post, someone cut both of my approved bike locks and made off with my Schwinn.
I hate people! May you, Mr. BikeStealer, get stage-4 ass cancer!
And now I say goodbye to my newly firmed Biker's BubbleButt. It was good while it lasted...
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After a second (and still bike-less) thought, I've decided to look at the positive. Perhaps this is the BabyJesus's way of looking out for 'lil MiCHaeL aNTHoNY.
Perhaps, while navigating my two-wheeler down the twists and turns of Sunset Blvd, I was to be hit by some blonde bimbo in a topless sports car. Perhaps I was too be killed... Or, worse yet, disfigured. Perhaps this was the BabyJesus's way of saving me from death... Or, worse yet, ugliness.
Thank you, BabyJesus! Oh, how my pretty face and I adore thee! (Now use some of that collection plate money and buy this forced-into-bus-riding boy a beater! Stat!)
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