The mullet behind the everyone's favorite "Achy Breaky Heart" has contributed yet another gem to our American musical landscape... and her name is Miley Cyrus! Yes, the ever-envelope-pushing minds at Disney Channel have teamed up with the fruits of Billy Ray's loins to grace our airwaves with yet another tween pop-tartlet.
I had the pleasure (term used loosely) of witnessing Miley's virginal (again, term used loosely) debut concert at Hollywood & Highland's outdoor courtyard. When my boss told me that I would be forced to attend this ear-splitting "treat" (yet again, term used loosely), I protested. But she informed my misinformed mind that the event was something that our entertainment channel simply had to cover. As my so-stupid-self was so-blatantly told: "Every star who is any star under the age of 16 will be there!" (Not to mention every old man who is any old man in the Sexual Predator Database. But I digress...)
How many people, would you guess, turned out to see 'Lil Cyrus strut her sequenced stuff? Take a tonedeaf gander. 5? 50? 100? 500? Wrong!
Over 2,000 screaming prebuescent girls and gay-boys-in-the-making turned out to behold the art that is pre-recorded lipsyncing. And when I say screaming, I do mean screaming... in the shrillest sense of the word. And trust me, I am no stranger to high-pitched vocalizations. (Time and time again, I have been witness to the shriek-filled spectacle that this Gay Men Gone Wild at the Barney's hanger clearance.)
My thoughts on all of this Miley hoopla? Disney's gonna chew up this 15-going-on-50-year-old "talent" (again, a loose term) and spit her out on life's dirty bathroom floor.
Hey, at least her Dad (and Britney) will be right there to pick her back up, huh?
WeLCuM 2...
