WeLCuM 2...

WeLCuM 2...
The (In)Complete Gay Man's Guide on How 2 Succeed in West Hollywood Without Really Trying!
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Sunday, July 1, 2007

FLaB in2 FaB ~ calorie cutting made EZ

17 simple ways to keep that 6-pac svelte and satisfied!

It’s both terrifying and scale-tippingly true; a mere 100 extra calories a day will add 10 pounds to your waistline in just 1 year. But never fear, fellow fitness enthusiasts. Follow these simple calorie-cutting tips and your future is destined to be unloveable-lovehandle-free.

IN THE MORNING…

1 - Go Green!
Tea, that is. Although black coffee is nearly calorie-free, almost no one enjoys their caffeinated beverage negra. Half & Half, Sweet & Low, and syrup shots have long been caloric-adding culprits in America’s favorite caffeinated beverages. Green tea, however, tastes great in its most natural and no-additives-necessary of forms. You’ll find it tea-licious!

2 – Stop Creaming!
If you can’t kick your coffee monkey, kick cream to the curb. Even non-fat milk adds unneeded calories to your morning cup. Instead, try a powdered, non-dairy creamer. Granted, the taste may take some getting use to, but it’s well worth the (literal) weight.

3 – Don’t Venti-Size It!
This one is a DUH! A tall latte has 200 calories, while the venti has 340. Stick with the small.

AT LUNCHTIME…

4 – Don’t Super-Size It!
This one is a DOUBLE-DUH! A small McDonalds fries has 240 calories, whereas the super-sized order has 610. Mini-me your McLunch. (And maybe even consider giving up the Golden Arch altogether.)

5 – Condemn the Condiments!
Mustard, ketchup, and relish; oh my! Believe it or not, all of these extraneous additions have calories, and they add up quickly . A plain hot dog weighs in at 380 calories, while a fully-loaded Chicago-style tilts the teetering scale at a whopping 720. Cut the condiment line and go directly to your picnic bench.

THROUGHOUT THE DAY…

6 – Scope it Out!
Although the caloric value in Altoids, gum, and mints are extremely low, they do exist. Enjoy just 3 Mentos, 5 sticks of gum, and 6 Altoids, and you’ll already at 100 calories. Especially if you’re a smoker, that’s easy to do. Instead, keep a bottle of Scope at your desk and rinse. Repeat as needed; it’s calorie-free! (Oh yeah… and quit the smoking too! That’ll kill you faster than an extra 100 calories will!)

7 – Heed the Little Things!
It’s like Mom always said: “Mind what you put in your mouth, Michael!” Suck on a cough drop, down a shot of tequila, lick an envelope, ingest your flax oil regimen, and nibble on a mere 10 peanuts; you’ll already at, not 100, but 200 excess calories! Stay mindful of everything, no matter how seemingly insignificant, that passes your lips.

WHEN COOKING…

8 - Skim It!
Cheeses, meats, dressings, sauces, and creams are all great opportunities to go low-fat or fat-free. If you can’t stomach the fat-less options, try 2%-ing it. Remember, every little bit helps. And it doesn’t have to be all or nothing; full-fat on the foods you simply can’t live without, and skimp on the skims you could calorically care less about.

9 - Size Really Does Matter!
A serving size is a serving is a serving size. A store bag of Doritos should not make for one couch potato binge; instead, it should feed a small screen party of four. 83% of American’s do not know how to properly read a nutritional label, so educate yourself. Heed the caloric content of each serving size when serving up a meal.

10 – Become the Measure of a Man!
Likewise, when cooking and baking, don’t eyeball your ingredients. Be sure to keep your handy dandy measuring tools within reach. Adding just 1 extra ounce of butter to your dish will fatten your culinary masterpiece with 200 excess calories. And no dinner guest needs that!

WHEN DINING IN…

11 – Take a Load Off!
It’s a fact; people eat more when they’re standing or driving. Physiologists and dietitians say that this is because eaters do not believe that food “on the go” really “counts”. Well, it does. So take a seat, and enjoy your off-footed feast.

12 – Turn off the Boob!
And by that, we mean the television tube. While today’s prime-time programming is just oh-so riveting, “The Simple Life 16” can also prove a dining distraction. Some eaters, mesmerized by the antics of Ms. Hilton and Ms. Richie, are well onto their 3rd portion before the even realize their dietary overdose. Instead, try casual conversation over dinner and monitor each additional fork-full of your edible intake.

WHEN DINING OUT…

13 – Be a Customizing Customer!
Remember that your server is there to serve you, so only order exactly what you want. If you hate corn, get your Cobb salad without it; just 4-ounces of the yellow kernels is 100 additional calories. In short, if you don’t love it, modify your meal and cut it out.

14 – Pre-Doggie Bag It!
Get half of your meal packaged to-go before it even arrives. Most of us have been programmed for childhood to clean our plate. (Thanks, Grandma!) Therefore, the less you’re served, the less you’ll eat. (And you’ll have lunch already pre-packed for tomorrow!)

WHEN DRINKING…

15 – Get Skinny Bitching!
Bartenders call it skinny bitching, and it means using diet sodas instead of regular ones. Especially when mixed with 80-proof hard alcohols, you’ll be unable to taste the difference. So keep your inner-sugar-addict quiet, and go diet!

16 – Top Shelf your Vino!
You get what you pay for… especially when it comes to wine. And while $2-Buck-Chuck makes for an economical evening buzz, it also has more sugar and calories per glass than a more expensive vineyard’s vino does. So when guzzling your Jesus juice, learn to overindulge from pocketbook.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS…

17 – Burn, Baby, Burn!
If you simply can’t modify your consumption habits, burn off those extra 100 calories. Take the stairs instead of the escalator, power walk for 10 minutes on your lunch break, or do sets of sit-ups and push-ups during your favorite television show’s commercial breaks.

These little acts of exertion truly do add up, and they truly will save your tummy’s waistline... 100 calories at a tasty time!

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