MiCHaeL aNTHoNY is throwing a house party; for said party, he purchases 36 bottles of wine, 3 handles of vodka, 4 handles of Bacardi, 4 24-packs of beer, as well as 25 2-liter mixers. He also picks up a total of 12 dessert platters, 3 cheese/meat/cracker spreads, 4 chip and dip concoctions, 3 2-tiered designer birthday cakes, 2 veggie trays and 4 finger-food-y bowls. Throughout the night, about 100 party-goers sashay in and out of condo #101: 90 gay men from Crunch, 5 gay men with no discernible gym affiliation (ew!), 4 hetero women, 1 "straight" (yeah, right!) man and 0 lezbos. What is the ratio of liquor to food that MiCHaeL aNTHoNY will be left with after his in-home last-call?
The answer? A whoppingly improbable = 0/794327927497321274973299342987! Apparently gay gym rats like to drink their intoxicating party snacks, not ingest their high-carb-ery. So now I'm stuck with no booze and a fridgeful of processed sugar (aka: white death) goodness.
Next math problem? How many miles of up-the-Hollywood-Hills jogging will it take MiCHaeL aNTHoNY to burn the 2 (OK, I lied... 4) pieces of carrot cake he just gorged on this morning...??
The answer? Fuck it! I'm moving to Silverlake!!!
WeLCuM 2...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment